Surprise, Surprise, and No it's Not your Birthday
by Val'istar En' Alu
Summary: Not all of Life's surprises good....but they're not all bad either. Slight AU with HC
1. Chapter 1

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Surprise, Surprise…and No it's Not Your Birthday 

**

** Summery** Umm well it involves surprises, some pleasant and some not so pleasant and that's all I'm gonna say. I'll be adding an OC so it'll be slightly AU. The epilogue is with two characters, hope it's not too confusing. All will be explained I promise 

** Disclaimer:** I have no money don't bother…..and it's called_fan_ fiction

Oks my first House fan fic ever, although I do luv reading all the fab authors on this site (you all know who you are) but I have all these ideas floating around in my head I just had to try and get them out, key word being _try_ . So if I do something stupid tell me….or if by some miracle of the TV gods I do something good….please feel free to press that little button at the bottom of your screen and review. Ok on with the show

Epilogue

* * *

Life will knock you on your ass sometimes: that's to be expected.

Things are bound to go wrong once in a while. Bad days they're called. 

And sometimes life just sucks for no reason at all.

Today Life did more than knock me on my ass: today it stole my puppy, bludgeoned me with a large stick, pushed me in a muddy puddle, ran over me with a semi and then jumped on me for good measure. 

As if I could feel it…. I can't feel much of anything, but that may just be all the anti-depressants they're shoving down my throat.

Maybe it's cuz I won't talk to them.

Maybe it's cuz I didn't cry.

* * *

He didn't like surprises much, though he himself often surprised people. Or maybe offended is the better verb. 

He pushed their buttons, caught them off guard and intentionally insulted most everyone, unless of course they were too bewildered to understand he was insulting them in the first place. 

One might even consider this a hobby of his. But he did not take kindly to the gesture returned. br br Yes, Gregory House did not like surprises, even the fluffy kinds that come with pretty pink bows attached. 

Not that he liked the painful and grotesque ones either, those tended to blow up in his face, or at very least caused a spike in his vicodin intake.

Unfortunately for Greg, Life decided that he needed a few good surprises of the non-medical variety, as those were far too easy for the proud doctor. 

Besides, Life should never be dull or predictable….where's the fun in that

* * *

ummm yeah so tell me if I have any spelling errors and what not. All my other chapters will be longer I just wanted to get something up. Suggestions **welcome**


	2. Beware limping twerps with canes

Ummm let's just get to the story shall we?

**Chapter 1**: _Beware limping twerps with canes _

* * *

At first glance anyone could tell that Dr. House was less than pleasant: today doubly so. br br Wilson watched as his friend stomped, and how he managed that Wilson had no idea, through the halls of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. 

_ To ask or not to ask, too bad this wasn't like those reality shows were you had a life line or at least paramedics and a stretcher standing by_

But he was curious and a bit concerned so…

"House…" 

That was as far as he got before House fired a warning glare over his shoulder that would have made lesser men piss their pants. 

Wilson just stopped walking and watched House slam through the doors of Cuddy's office.

Boy was he in a mood today…and he didn't even have clinic duty. 

Something was amiss in the state of Denmark, but Wilson wisely decided to wait until House was in a more congenial state of mind, or at least one more conducive to non-violent forms of communication, before he pried the reason out of him.

Hmmm maybe he'd ambush House in his office at the end of the day….or perhaps tomorrow morning.

If there was anything his friendship with Greg had taught him over the years it was patience….and timing.

But he was sure as heck going to find out.

Turning, he retreated back up the hallway, best warn the rest of the gang that their irritable leader was on the war path….again.

* * *

Cuddy didn't raise her eyes from the memo she was proofing, she didn't need to, to know that it was House who had just let himself, rather loudly, into her office.

The fact that he hadn't opened his mouth to say something antagonizing or demanding since he had barged in, is what had her raising her eyes to the normally verbose man standing in the middle of her office and staring…..at her carpet?

Puzzled, she retreated to what was so framilure between them: sarcasm. 

"Dr. House can I help you with something or did you just come here to critic my choice of carpet."

It was enough to bring him back from La la land or wherever the heck that mind of his went.

Slowly his head inched upward and his stare focused in upon her…and this day she felt the weight of it.

_His eyes look bluer today_

As soon as the random thought flashed in her mind she brushed it away.

Raising her eye brows, she glanced at him when he remained silent. This was not a good sign…nothing was whenever he decided to enter her office instead of playing his version of hide and seek trying to shirk clinic duties.

She tried again.

"All I want to know is what did you do and how much will it cost us?" 

Ah that got a reaction.

"As much as I enjoy trading sarcastic barbs with you and making your professional life hell, I'm not here because of something I did…" 

He trailed off seeming to contemplate his next words…. as if he didn't know how to say them.

Cuddy merely titled her head hoping the gesture would prompt him to continue, pensive House was starting to unnerve her.

Drawing an intake of break, he exhaled a string of words she had not been expecting.

"I need to take a leave of absence"

She just stared at him then finally said the only thing left floating around in her brain.

"What?" 

He rolled his eyes at that.

"Leave of absence…let me break it down for you. See I need to leave, be elsewhere, hence the leaving part, you know to go away, to not be here and absence… well that pretty much means the same thing….kinda redundant…"

shrugging he continued

"…the point is I need to not be here for oh three or four weeks." 

She shook her head trying to displace her confusion

" Right, I know what leave of absence _means_ House…maybe I should have asked why…"

Hmmm didn't look like he wanted to answer that question.

But he did a little glance to the side then said flatly

"Personal matters."

"Ok…I need more to go on than that House…..and it's not exactly like you have much of a personal life…"

She earned a glare for that.

She paused unsure of how to ask the next question but knowing it needed asking.

"Are you going to seek treatment for your…"

"Addiction?" he cut her off

A bit of wry amusement found it's way to the corner of his lips.

"I was going to say dependency."

"How sensitive of you. Is Dr. House going to get himself checked into rehab, that's what you meant…and no he's not, and contrary to the myth I do have a personal life. Heck, I even have relatives, don't see much of them but they're there….halfway across the country. Lucky me."

Another pause while he repositioned his cane.

"Sooo….do I get your permission to not be here?"

"House…." He was giving her a migraine faster than he normal today.

"Cuddy…" and then he said a word she was sure not even his own mother ever heard him utter.

"…please…"

Her mouth opened, closed, then opened again.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow" was his blunt reply

_Why did the man even bother asking her_

"So if I'd said no…"

He gave her a sly grin " I knew you wouldn't"

All she could do was roll her eyes

"Right, do you have an idea of when you'll be back?"

The grin vanished

"Best case scenario a week. Worst, a month….or more. I'll let you know which when I have a better idea."

He started for the door "These next few weeks should be a vacation for you…don't get too wild while I'm gone…" br br grinning once again "or at least take some pictures for me."

She waved him out the door

"Get outta here and go pack."

"Yes Miss Cuddy."

And he closed the door….quietly

The most confusing and insufferable human being in the history of the world…and he just happened to work in her hospital…of all the gin joints in town she mused.

_Something is definitely up with House…wonder if Wilson knows_

She'd make sure to ask next time she saw him.

* * *

well, now it's time to see if I can actually finish a fic….I'm not known for my follow through ability….short attention span 


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